Paraletic

OK, so I gagged this morning. Truth be told, I actually gagged twice and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Before I relate the circumstances to you that resulted in the near projectile event, I must add that I'm not sure which was worse. The first near vomit caught me completely off guard. Sitting behind my computer performing what would appear to be an endless string of tedious administrative tasks, I was lulled into a false sense of security - that is until Alexey (the Russian Doctor) "asks for my assistance". I promptly attend and am greeted by some Russian Oil worker standing with his pants down baring his ass to the greater Arctic circle and Alexey pointing proudly to a sore which, given the trauma sustained, will remain descriptionless. Assuming that there is some unmentionable task yet to be performed, I stand shocked in the corner. Both Alexey and the sore guy look at me with confused looks on their faces until Alexey asks;
"Interesting yes?"
"Ah..., yes?"
"OK, you go now."
No reminder needed. Gag one.

The second gag was a Grubby trying to tube gag. You all know what I'm talking about, one of those deep, rolling, torso contorting, convulsant types. SANIPED, the Russian agency responsible for occupational health has an odd regulation (well, they actually have a couple of odd ones) that requires all biological hazards to be disinfected before removal. There's a bit of sense in there somewhere but why can't some other guy do it - its job creation in a country that desperately needs it. So there I am, performing about 20 urine dug tests per day and each receptical contains biologically hazardous material. Lets leave it at;
"Three day old urine is brown, sludgy and smells putrid" and you can quote me on that!

The other "interesting" (as used by the Russian Doctor to describe anything that would ordinarily not interest any self respecting individual) thing that walked through the door today was an allergic reaction. At first glance I started to make a move along the opposite wall towards the door when the very flushed person presented 5 very large boils on his neck that appeared only this morning. Thankfully it was only a near fatal anaphylactic reaction to an antibiotic.

I think I'll leave it there, who knows what'll come through the door next and I'd very much like to be prepared when it does.

P.S. Haven't seen a bear yet