The Exorcist

A colleague of mine gets sent to a para- suicide (someone who has been rather unsuccessful in life and in attempted death). Anyway, she arrives at the, shall we call it a venue, only to be greeted by, the ever to eager to assist, bystanders that gravitate to these types of things. Remind me about bystanders some time. Various versions of the events are relayed as are different degrees of injury and level of consciousness.

After dispatching the bystanders with her usual sarcasm, she moves inside - only to be greeted by a woman (mid 30's, slight of build) being set upon by 3 large men, 1 per arm and 1 on the pelvis. A 3rd, in full clerical regalia is halfway through the rights of exorcism.

The moral is; don't slit your wrists in Cape Town. Failing that, anti- depressants and alcohol are a bad mix.

PS. instead of the usual deep croaky demonic voice quoting Lucifer's Book o' the Damned, this chick whips out the South African Constitution - how's that for possession?

Humans. We, by our own proclamation, are the top of the food chain, the finish line of the evolutionary obstacle course, the big kahunas.

Let us take a step back, shall we? What other creatures display the same "tenacity" for survival and growth and adaptation to their environment? Let me ask you this; what kingdoms exhibit the same remarkable ability as humans to breed under the most extreme conditions. What organisms will continue to multiply, exhausting all resources - to their own detriment? Viruses and bacteria.

We're not numero uno because we're so switched on or because we can adapt, we're here, at the top, because we can breed better than anything else.

3 Sides To A Story

As people go, I'm quite a volatile individual. I have a very short fuse - just so that you know, I am not without faults - I have some mega issues but one thing that I don't understand is why people insist on being such bastards (men and women alike). No one ever seems to get the fact that there are always, and I mean always, 3 sides to a damn story.

Before you insist on slandering someone - walk in their shoes for a while and for those of you who entertain those short sighted, self serving slanderous bastards - wake up - you're next on their list.

Road Rage Revenge

A mini bus taxi driver has ended up in hospital following a road rage attack ( http://www.sabcnews.com/south_africa/crime1justice/0,2172,167783,00.html)

Now, while I am not going to advocate violence, I have had the misfortune of driving on South African roads and being subjected to the complete lack of courtesy and the absolute lawlessness exhibited by a large percentage of mini bus taxi drivers - and according to witnesses, this driver was no different.

So, you will have to excuse me for not feeling the least bit sorry for the driver of the taxi - I've seen far to many people die because of the ridiculous behaviour that these individuals exhibit;

• Tail gating
• Driving in the emergency lane
• Driving on verges
• Driving on the pavement
• Skipping red lights
• Indiscriminately stopping
• Speeding

You name the section in the Road Traffic act and these fools break it.

I am however saddened by the fact that this driver won't take this lesson to heart (or head for that matter).

Law In South Africa

Two recent court cases, have earned the attention of newspaper readers in South Africa;

• One person was fined R1 000 for not having a TV license
• Another was released on bail for R500 after being arrested formurder

The moral of this South African story:If you do not have a TV license and the inspector comes round, kill him.You'll save R500

.........It's the Right Thing To Do....

Decent Assault

The below quote is from the News 24 website dated today - 26/01/2008

Spokesperson for Tonga police station, Constable Mzwandile Nyambi, said police had opened an attempted murder and rape case.

"It is the first time that our police station has had to attend to this kind of case. We don't even know whether to call it rape or decent assault," she said.

It pertains to a young man that was allegedly raped at gunpoint by 3 women after accepting a lift.

I beg you, with tears in my baby blue eyes, what the hell is decent assault?

Bored

It's an odd feeling. You wake up one morning and everything's different. The thing that was once your anchor, your support and what you enjoyed most, no longer does it for you.

My New Year's Resolution is somewhat of an anti- resolution at least by conventional norms; "Work Less, Play Harder", or something just as cliched but equally non- productive. The point is, I woke up this year, not hungover (very surprised because I knew I had to have one) and it was as clear as day - you no longer want to be doing what you're doing. I don't mean the paramedic thing, I love that - I fact, I think that's what brought me to the realisation in the first place. I've become a pencil pusher - a paperless pencil pusher.

I can't remember when last I got a rush from replying to an e-mail or completing a spreadsheet although I have to admit some enjoyment is derived when an Excel spreadsheet works perfectly - sad, I know.

Back to the "Play Hard" part.

I've decided on a career path change, now it just remains to see who'll employ a 31 year old paramedic with a huge ego and delusions of youth.

I want to jump out of helicopters again without checking how it fits in with my schedule before and despite my love for my Windows powered mobile phone, it's become a symbol of the corporate beast that I now try to escape.

I must just add that I am well aware of how melodramatic this is - but what can you do? That was a rhetorical question by the way.